Brave
by Vampire00Diaries
Summary: After making a tragic mistake, Stefan Salvatore learns that he only has a few weeks to live. Still struggling with his emotions, he is determined to make things right with Elena and Damon before it's too late. Post 3x09.
1. Chapter 1

_I think I'll be brave…_

_Starting with you…_

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><p>Looming over the mysterious town of Mystic Falls, with its white light illuminating the tops of the trees, was a full moon.<p>

Elena Gilbert made her way through the grand cemetery, but instead of stopping at her parents' and Aunt Jenna's grave, she kept walking. She didn't know exactly where she was going, but she kept her eye on the names on the stones until she came across the family she had been searching for.

The Salvatores.

Elena started by looking at the grave on the far left: Maria Cartwright Salvatore, Stefan and Damon's mother. Then her eyes fell on Guiseppe Salvatore's grave briefly with little regard, deciding that he didn't deserve much thought, considering how willing he was to push his sons away after they sided with Katherine back in 1864.

Elena slid down slowly when she came across Damon's tombstone. Her gentle fingers slowly slid across the years that had been engraved to mark his death: 1843-1864. She scoffed at this, knowing that there was no actual body beneath Damon's ancient grave, for he was now somewhere off in Italy, partying and drowning out his feelings with alcohol. She really couldn't blame him for leaving Mystic Falls after everything that happened. She sure as hell wished she could have left too. But, unlike Damon, Elena still had people she cared about in the drowsy town. Every day for the past year, waking up had hurt like hell, but somehow she managed to get out of bed and act like she was fine. Her charade was believable, but as soon as she got home, and locked herself in the confines of her room, the tears endlessly fell.

She was only 19 now, and she had been through way more than any 19 year old should have.

Whereas Damon's grave was old and covered in dust, Stefan's was hauntingly sharp-edged and clean. The year on his tombstone differed greatly from the numbers written elegantly on the other graves.

Stefan Salvatore's date of death was January 1, 2012.

Elena sighed shakily. It had been exactly one year, and the memories continued to haunt her dreams like a dark shadow. The one image that she couldn't erase was the very moment he looked at her before his eyes went vacant. His gaze was full of love, anguish, and self hatred. His bright hazel eyes burned right through hers before they went gray and distant. She was the last thing he ever saw.

And as far as Elena was concerned, he was the last thing _she _ever saw too.

Her life up to that point had been full of insanity. Stefan had left with Klaus and as soon as he returned to Mystic Falls, was forced to shut off his emotions. Every single time that she looked at him, she only saw a monster trapped in Stefan's body, and was praying for the day that he would finally be free of Klaus.

The one thing that Elena wasn't prepared for was the fact that the very night Stefan was freed, everything started to fall apart.

Like a torturous movie that she was being forced to watch, the memories filled Elena's mind as she recalled everything that happened from that night on: the terrifying mistake that led to his slow demise, the way that they had fallen in love all over again only to have him torn away from her… The way his eyes bore into her soul before he was gone…

Escaping from reality, Elena was dragged back into a world full of grief, passion and heartbreak, and she could do nothing but watch as she remembered every small detail that led up to the loss of the one man who she had tried to save.

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><p><em><strong>AN: I hope you liked this! This is a new story I'm writing—and yes, it's going to be my first real tear-jerker. Stefan dying makes me insanely sad, but I figured that this could become a tragically beautiful love song I'm using is called "Brave" by Tawgs Salter. **_

_**I figured it would be interesting to have such drastic measures make Elena and Stefan fall in love all over again, only to know that in the end they'd be torn apart. The next chapter will take place right after episode 3x09. Please comment; all of your reviews make me want to keep going!**_

_**Do you think that I should keep writing this fanfic?**_

_**Thanks!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_But I'll fall away if you tell me to…_

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><p>Tonight, he let his humanity get in the way.<p>

Stefan was back in Mystic Falls already, standing outside of Elena's house. He knew better than anyone that he shouldn't have been there, especially not when there were caskets to guard in Atlanta. But he couldn't stay away, not right now, not when he was in such a vulnerable state of mind.

He was letting his emotions in slowly, piece by piece… and it was painful and he _needed _her forgiveness. He needed to give her a proper goodbye before he left for Georgia again; she deserved that much.

He knew that she hated him now; she one hundred percent, without a doubt _despised _everything about him. But really, Stefan couldn't blame her. Earlier tonight, he had saved Klaus, the man who had murdered her aunt and killed even her in the process, in order to save his brother. But she didn't know that, and he figured it would be best if he didn't tell her.

For a long moment, Stefan stood outside of Elena's window, just watching as her light turned on. He could see her silhouette through the open window, the way her shoulders hunched as soon as she sat on the bed. Her shoulders shook with gentle sobs and Stefan frowned deeply, his heart wrenching at the sight. Before everything happened, on a night like this, it would have been so simple just to appear in her room and hold her close until the tears stopped… But he knew that it wasn't even a possibility anymore. They were so different now; no longer under the innocent spell of a high school romance, Stefan was a complete stranger to her. Klaus really had taken everything from him. He took Elena away from him, the one thing that finally brought him hope and clarity. Now, Stefan had _nothing. _No one.

With trembling fingers, Stefan pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed Elena's number. His gaze remained on her open window as he picked up on the sound of her cell phone ringing. Very slowly, he could see her get up and reach for her phone. "Hello?"

Stefan's throat caught when he heard her shaky voice on the other end. This moment reminded him so much of the night when he called her, just needing to hear her… But it was different now. And he had a lot to say. "Hi," he whispered.

There was a long pause on Elena's end. Quickly, Stefan left her yard and ended up in the woods, not wanting to risk her seeing him. If he even saw her up close, there would be absolutely no way that he'd ever leave, and it was clear that going away was exactly what both of them needed. Finally, Elena spoke. "What do you want?"

He sighed. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry… and goodbye."

Elena scoffed. "What kind of game is this? You can't apologize. I know you don't mean it… Do you?" Her voice was sharp and bitter though Stefan wondered if he recognized a small glimmer of hope in her words.

Stefan ran his free hand through his hair, avoiding her question. His bottom lip quivered but he tried to keep his voice steady. "Just make sure Damon takes good care of you." Stefan swallowed thickly. "He loves you."

Once again, it took Elena a long moment to reply. This time when she spoke, it was unsure and slightly timid, no signs of any bitterness or hatred. "S-Stefan?"

A cool tear rolled down his cheek, causing him to quickly brush it away, feeling betrayed by his own heart. Every single cell in him was screaming to stay and talk with her, but he knew he couldn't. "Yes, Elena?"

A sound came from Elena's line and Stefan vaguely wondered if it was another sob. "Is it really you?"

"I don't know." he started, furiously wiping away any tears before they could run down his face. "I don't even know who I'm supposed to be anymore…" He was about to keep talking, about to explain why it wasn't safe for him to be in Mystic Falls, tell her he was sorry and that they couldn't talk again for her sake, but something caught his eye in the distance. There were three men approaching him, now walking down the hill close to the stream.

Within a second, the first man was in front of him. "Well, wasn't that sentimental."

Stefan's body went rigid. He could recognize that voice from a mile away: Klaus. A shiver went through his spine and he quickly hung up his cell phone, his face going hard and emotionless. "What do you want, Klaus?"

A smirk formed on the original vampire's lips. "Well, Stefan, it wasn't long before I found out where you were hiding my family." A devious chuckle erupted through the forest. "You no longer have any leverage."

Stefan's lips curled up with a feral glare. "You're lying."

"You were hiding them in the basement of a Victorian house in Atlanta," Klaus said snidely, his flat blue eyes full of sadistic amusement. "Did you really think you could outsmart me, Stefan? I know how you think… it was easy to figure out your hiding spot. That was a big mistake…"

Stefan's heart fell to his stomach as the two men came to Klaus's side and looked Stefan over with cold expressions. "Don't hurt anyone here," he begged.

"Physically?" Klaus questioned and raised his brow. "That was never my angle. You see… I'd rather watch you suffer. I mean, Elena and Damon wouldn't care if you died, right? In fact, I'd probably be benefiting them. You're just a burden."

The young vampire's eyes closed in defeat. He knew Klaus's words were true, and the fact that he was currently not in control of his emotions definitely wasn't helping. He backed up until he hit a tree. The two men who were behind Klaus didn't intimidate him, but he could feel slight tremors of fear rush through him. "Just don't hurt anyone else… please."

"As you wish." Klaus laughed, a deep, throaty sound that disturbed the whole forest. "Always the martyr, Stefan…"

With those words, Klaus raised his hand, keeping his eyes locked on the vulnerable vampire, and snapped his two fingers together.

Instantly, the two hybrids, who had been standing behind him, pounced at Stefan.

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><p><em><strong>AN: Okay, mainly another intro chapter leading into everything. The next chap will sort of be where everything really starts: Elena and Damon finding out about Stefan, learning exactly what happened to Stefan, etc. <strong>_

_** I hope you liked it. Still don't know if I should continue this or not though. What do you think?**_

_** Please review! Every single comment inspires me to write more as soon as I possibly can.**_

_**Xoxo, **_

_**Sara**_

_**(Song Credit to Tawgs Salter: "Brave")  
><strong>_


	3. Chapter 3

_I'd rather be wrong_

_Than hope that I'm right…_

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><p>With a groan, Stefan was slowly roused to consciousness. His cheek was pressed against the cool ground and he thankfully stayed there, his skin burning up with an uncomfortable heat. His mind was dazed, thoughts hazy and heavy. What had happened after he blacked out?<p>

Very hesitantly, he opened his eyes, the pink dawn sky filling his vision instantly. How long had he been lying here?

After a short while, Stefan sat up so that his back was resting against a nearby tree. A crippling pain surged through his body as he did so, causing his vision to momentarily blur, nausea making him almost double over once again. He rested his aching head against the tree, allowing his eyes to close as he concentrated on the source of the pain.

_Everywhere. _Everything hurt. Everything hurt so badly that all he wanted was to go back to sleep…

He mentally shook himself. Putting his hazy thoughts aside, Stefan tried to concentrate once again. It was his stomach… The unbearable pain was coming from his stomach.

He forced his heavy eyes open again and sat up a little straighter –despite the horrible pain– so that he could look at the damage. His t-shirt, which was originally white, was now stained an ominous crimson from last night's bloodshed; he didn't know exactly whose blood it was.

Stefan winced when he started to pull his shirt up. He examined his torso and gasped when his anguished gaze suddenly came across the wound that was causing all of this pain. Resting on his left side, right beneath his ribcage, was a wolf bite.

He gasped. His skin around the poisoned bite was already turning a ghastly purple; it was clear just how hard the hybrid had torn into his flesh by the depth of the wound.

His eyes filled with panic as he realized the seriousness of the situation. "Klaus!" he shouted into a dark morning full of nothingness. "Klaus!"

There was no response, not even a rustle in the leaves from the wind. Stefan's face twisted in fury. "Damn it!" His fists angrily came in contact with the damp ground, sinking into the mud. He stayed like this for a long moment, his chest rising and falling with labored breaths as he tried to calm himself down. His mind spun for a solution, for he knew that Klaus would never give him a cure.

After a few moments of impatient thinking, Stefan thought of something: the vial of Klaus's blood that Katherine had given to Damon in order to cure his brother's bite earlier in the summer. Surely Damon wouldn't just throw something like that out.

With a sudden rush of determination-and fear-, Stefan stood up and sped off.

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><p>He arrived at the old boardinghouse within seconds. His hands were shaky as he reached for the boardinghouse door. He didn't know what he would face as soon as he entered the old home; there was no doubt that the scent of old soap and firewood and all things <em>Elena <em>would fill him with thoughts and emotions that he wasn't ready to encounter yet.

He let out a deep breath and silently opened the door. Making sure to maintain a cool façade, Stefan crept upstairs into Damon's room. His mission was to not be seen by anyone.

Luckily, Damon wasn't home this morning. Stefan sighed in relief and searched through drawers and soap baskets until he found the vial under the bathroom sink. His heart began to race in anticipation as he opened the vial shakily. For a brief moment, he wondered why he was so quick to want to save his own life.

It would be so easy just to not take the blood, he thought. It would be so simple just to run off and let the poison run its course on his body; he clearly deserved the torture and insanity after everything he had done this past year.

But yet, Stefan knew that he couldn't lose the opportunity. He needed to redeem himself before he died. He needed to kill Klaus. He needed to save lives and make up for the people he destroyed. Somehow he needed to know that Elena had moved on from him. He needed to know that Damon was willing to forgive him. Then… Stefan would take his ring off and walk directly into the sunlight. All would be right in the world.

But until then, he had unfinished business.

So, hurriedly, Stefan raised the vial to his lips. Most of the blood was dried around the edges, except for one lone drop that fell on his tongue. He swallowed the blood eagerly. With his eyes full of hope, Stefan raised his bloodied shirt and looked intently at the bite.

When it started to shrink, he let out the breath he didn't even know he'd been holding. A triumphant smile formed on his dry lips, but it quickly faded, because although the remedy had started to work… the bite was still there. Half as big as it was before, the wolf bite was still on Stefan's side. There was not enough blood to cure him.

Letting out a groan of frustration, Stefan threw the small vial against the wall, watching it shatter to pieces. He held his face in his hands. What was the solution now?

Death. That was the solution. A painful, torturous death that was much deserved. His eyes dulled as he imagined how bleak his future would be now.

Stefan's chest ached and his heart felt heavy as he wobbled onto his feet. With slow steps, he went into one of Damon's drawers and changed into one of his brother's black shirts. He looked back at the room one last time and decided it would be best to leave town now, let Damon and Elena just believe that he disappeared and never wanted to return. It would be easier that way; they would hate him and he'd just be…gone.

His heart ached for their forgiveness, but he had to push it aside. Keeping his head down, Stefan trudged down the stairs. How much time did he have now? Hopefully enough to find Klaus and kill him, Stefan decided. He would kill Klaus before he died. He promised himself that.

Stefan needed to redeem himself at least once.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even hear Elena approaching the house from outside. He only raised his head in alarm when she burst through the door. "He called me last night, Da- Stefan?"

Her brown eyes went wide. Stefan clenched his jaw, a nervous habit of his, and nodded slowly. He averted his gaze, trying to keep his expression void of emotion, though on the inside his mind was running haywire. He needed to get out now.

"You called me last night," she said slowly, her posture rising as she examined him over. It was obvious that his presence now made her nervous, and that piece of information was enough to break his heart.

"Yes," was all he said in response. He kept his head down.

"You apologized."

"I did."

Elena crossed her arms over her chest, trying to keep a hard face, though there was a glimmer of hope in her chocolate gaze. "Why?"

Stefan exhaled shakily. Finally, he lifted his head so that his green eyes came in contact with hers. She was shocked by the vulnerability she saw there. "I have too much to apologize for."

Elena swallowed thickly, letting out a deep breath. A small smile formed on her smooth lips and her expression suddenly filled with relief. "You really are back." A look of wonder then came across her face, though it was clear that her eyes were still full of anxiety. After all, she hadn't really spoken to him since he told her that he was going to save Damon that summer night. Now, here he was again. Here he _really _was. But now, they were two different people, two different people who no longer knew each other.

"No," Stefan said firmly. "I have to go." His voice quivered as he spoke.

Elena's smile then turned to glare when she heard those words. "You can't," she demanded. "You have a lot to explain. Like why you saved Klaus." Just then, the images of everything that Stefan had put her through flashed through her mind: from his disappearance, to that moment when he broke her heart in Chicago, to his return to Mystic Falls…

He shook his head, anguish in his hazel eyes. "Goodbye, Elena."

Rage bubbled up inside of her. "You're leaving again, Stefan? After all of this, everything we've been through, you're just… leaving?" She stepped closer, her face twisting in sadness and anger. Did he not understand just how much she had been praying for this moment all summer?

Stefan swallowed thickly. "I can't stay Elena. It's not fair to you."

Then, Elena did something completely out of character. She slapped Stefan across the face, as hard as she possibly could, all of her built up frustration and sadness coming out with that one blow. To her surprise, he stumbled back and hit the door, and then he just… fell.

Elena looked at her hand in shock, for her palm was wet with Stefan's tears. She didn't even realize he had been crying. Her gaze fell on him and… oh god, he looked like he was about to pass out. His hand flung to his side and he started breathing heavily. Elena rushed to him, kneeling over, feeling no pride in her previous action. "Stefan?" she asked urgently, her pulse racing. "I'm so sorry! Stefan, what's wrong?"

"I'm fine," he rasped harshly.

"You don't look fine," she retorted, pushing his hands away from his side. Worriedly, all of her anger now replaced with concern, she raised the shirt to get a glimpse at what was bothering him. Her heart dropped when she saw the wolf bite. "Oh my god…"

He breathed deeply and locked his pained eyes with her. "That's why it's not fair for me to stay."

.

.

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><p>.<p>

_**AN: Not my best work. Sorry, guys… I'm in pain tonight. Blegh! I wanted to post something so I apologize if it's a little off. The next chapter you will definitely see some more Stelena and as promised they will gradually fall for each other again! :)**_

_**I hope you liked the chapter! Please review with your thoughts! Do you still think I should continue this?**_

_**Thanks,**_

_**Sara**_

_**(Song cred: Brave by Tawgs Salter)**_


	4. Chapter 4

_'Cause I can't go on with this all inside…_

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><p>Stefan winced at the sunlight brightly streaming through the windows. He let out a deep groan and buried his head in the pillows.<p>

_Pillows? _His face was suddenly struck with bafflement. He felt around and realized confusedly that he was lying in his bed; no, lying _on top _of it. How on earth had that happened? The last thing he remembered was arguing with Elena…

He was too exhausted to care right now.

Just wanting to give in to his lethargy again, Stefan attempted to block out the sudden voice coming from his bedside. "Stefan…," the voice said, its tone a perfect mix of concern and masculine arrogance. "Wakey wakey, Stef."

Then, a higher, more melodic voice also filled his ears: "Seriously, Damon, can you not turn everything into a joke?"

Forcing his eyelids to open at the sound of her voice, Stefan pushed the pillow off of his head. Through blurred vision, he could see the outline of Elena's small figure and Damon's dark frame. His gaze flicked back and forth between their faces until everything was clear again. "What the hell," he got out tiredly. "How did I get here?"

His brother's ice blue eyes examined him intently. "I'd like to know the same thing," Damon said flatly. "I thought you were leaving town for good, Brother… I mean, after you saved Klaus's life I figured you'd run for the hills-"

Damon's gaze was filled with bitter rage, a look that made Stefan instinctively glare in return. Elena placed a calming hand on his arm and looked between the brothers. "Damon…"

A sound that vaguely resembled a snarl erupted from the older brother's chest. "I had him, Stefan! Now look at yourself! You got yourself into another mess… Thanks for everything, bro! Now you're going to be dead and Klaus will be rejoicing!"

Damon's furiously detached words puzzled Stefan; he couldn't tell what had upset his brother more: the fact that he saved Klaus's life, or the fact that he'd set himself up for death.

Elena was the one to speak, her voice filled with defensiveness. "He won't be dead."

There was a long pause after that, all eyes on Stefan. He refused to look at either of them, knowing that Damon's eyes would show an endless cerulean sea of anger, sadness, and hatred, while Elena's chocolate gaze would be full of nothing but hope.

So, instead of comforting them, Stefan shook his head. "I need to leave town."

Elena's jaw hardened as her teeth clenched together. "You're not going _anywhere._" Damon tensed also when he recognized the look of pure devastation on his brother's face. She looked between them and glanced up at Damon sadly. "Can you give me a few minutes with him?"

He remained firmly in place, his expression showing nothing of the rush of sadness behind that cool façade. "Damon, go," she demanded. Finally, he left the room.

There was a long silence after Damon shut the door behind him. For a second that felt like an eternity, they just stared at each other. Brown eyes to sage green eyes. Frown to frown.

"You were asleep for over 12 hours," Elena eventually said. Stefan closed his eyes for a long moment and swung his legs over so that he was sitting up on his bed. He buried his face in his hands, waiting for the surge of pain to subside.

"Vampires don't need that much sleep," he told her when he finally raised his head.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Why are you so set on leaving, Stefan?" Very slowly and reluctantly, she took one step closer to him. His gaze fell to the floor immediately.

"I don't want you to see me like this. I don't want to hurt you…"

She gritted her teeth together. "When you die? You don't want it to hurt me when you _die? _I hate to tell you, Stefan, but it won't make much of a difference to me whether you're here or not; it'll still hurt just as much. There's only one difference if you stay and if you go."

Finally, he met her gaze again, lips quivering to allow words to escape them. "And what would that be?"

"If you go… If you run off into the woods and let yourself die, that'll be it. You'll just be gone." She could feel her heart drop just at those words; she hadn't been with him in months, hadn't kissed him in what felt like a lifetime, but it was true that there was no world for her without him. "But if you stay here, we'll find a way to save you. You'll have Damon and me to help you through everything. We'll pull through. We _always _pull through, Stefan. Don't you remember that about us?" Her eyes twinkled once again, a small glimmer of _hope _that Stefan would remember that he hadn't let her give up last year when she was willing to die.

"It's different this time," he explained, staring off at a place only he could see. "Klaus won't give me his blood. There's nothing we can do…"

"Don't you dare do that," she spat venomously, her eyes suddenly filling with rage and desperation. A flame of determination sparked her chocolate orbs when she sat beside him. Grabbing his face and turning his head, she spoke. "Don't sit here and give up! You're _alive, _Stefan. Right now, you're alive! Don't look away from me and tell me there's nothing we can do. You'd _never _let me do that. _Never. _If you're so convinced everything's going to end, why don't you just take your ring off and go into the sun?"

"Because I need to redeem myself!" he snapped. Elena jumped, but kept her eyes on his nevertheless. "I need to leave town and kill Klaus. I need to make up for the mistake that I made by letting him survive. I need you to move on so that you won't miss me."

Elena dropped her hands from his face, her voice suddenly rising to a crescendo. "Stop acting like you're going to die! Just stop! You want to redeem yourself, Stefan? You want forgiveness?" He nodded. "Then fight for it. Because the only way you'll get redemption is if you don't give up."

He didn't respond. Elena could see his barriers falling and crumbling, could recognize the glassy sheen covering his eyes that could only be defined as tears. So, she kept talking. Once again, she grabbed his face, only this time, her touch was gentle and soothing. Her gaze traveled to every inch of his seventeen year old face, allowing her fingers to gently smooth out any worry lines, to memorize his every feature. Her voice was soft now. "You don't have to kill Klaus to get my forgiveness. Just stay here, please. Fight. We'll find a way. That's all I need from you." Her own salty tears began to spill down her cheeks. "You may think your life means nothing, but you're wrong. It means everything to me, Stefan."

He frowned. Elena's fingers automatically went to his lips, caressing them, trying to visualize what it felt like to kiss them so long ago. Even that memory was fading. "I won't lose you," she whispered.

"How are you even talking to me right now?" he asked guiltily. "I made your life hell."

Elena caressed the side of his face. "That wasn't you. _This _is you. And I'm willing to give you the forgiveness you need, in time. As long as you promise me you'll let yourself live."

They stayed like that for a long time, just staring at each other, her hands lightly caressing every curve of his features. Stefan searched her gaze for any hatred, any dismay, but at the moment, there wasn't. Her expression was only full of an unfailing hope. So finally, he nodded. "I promise."

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><p><em><strong>AN: Hope you liked the chapter! I know the story is pretty intense, but I think that in the next chapter I'll actually give you a lighthearted Stelena moment. I hope I'm keeping everyone in character LOL! <strong>_

_** Please let me know what you thought of the chapter! If you want me to update this, let me know. Thank you and happy holidays! Xoxo,**_

_**Sara :)**_


	5. Chapter 5

_I think I'll be brave  
>And say how I've wanted you<em>...

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><p>When Saturday came around, it was 3 o' clock when Stefan finally emerged from his room. He'd been getting up later and later every day. Elena was there of course, sitting on the leather couch watching a movie when she heard his heavy footsteps down the stairs. Hurriedly, she stood up and rushed to the foot of the staircase to meet him. Her breath caught at the sight of him; he was unnaturally pale, lips almost purple, his previously green eyes now darker and grayer. Yet somehow, he still looked beautiful. Stefan was always the epitome beauty -inside and out-; that much was a fact. At least to her.<p>

He reached the bottom floor with ease despite the slight lightheadedness that followed. Elena frowned and went to his side, quickly, placing a hand on his back."I'm fine," he got out. With a frown, she stepped back.

"How are you feeling?"

He responded with a forced smile. "I'm... dealing."

With an arched brow, Elena slowly lifted his shirt to stare at the wound. It had grown noticeably, but was not nearly as bad as she expected. "You look better than Damon did by this time. He was immobile after 3 days. It's been about 5 now for you." A hopeful grin formed on her strawberry lips.

Stefan returned it, because he felt that it was his duty to encourage her, and himself. It was his promise after all, to hope without having any hope. "It's because I took a little bit of Klaus's blood from the vial. I think it slowed the process down."

"You did?" Her brown eyes widened a bit. "Maybe it'll just take some time and you'll be cured instead of going downhill." Her chocolate orbs sparkled and Stefan had to avert his gaze.

"Yeah," he breathed. "Maybe." He closed his eyes, knowing that they were both well aware of the fact that this wasn't true. He was getting worse and worse every day, and they both could tell.

Elena watched him as his eyes closed, the look of pure depression covering his features, looking like a caged animal. He wanted to leave out of his own selflessness, and no matter what she couldn't change that. She would remain by his side throughout it all, whether he wanted her company or not. Yes, her heart broke more and more every day, but she didn't care.

"Stefan," she said after a long pause.

"Yes, Elena?"

She turned to look at him. "Do you ever wonder what our lives would have been like if Tyler never bit Damon? If you never had to go with Klaus..."

Stefan frowned. "I used to, a lot. But then I realized I couldn't dwell on it because the thought of us being together again... just isn't possible. Not after everything I've done."

Elena kept her focus on him, never averting her gaze from those graying forest eyes. "I think about it a lot. I bet right now, we'd be sitting right there." She pointed to the leather couch in the parlor, leading him into the room. He could feel his skin heat up from the crackling fire burning. Elena continued, "You'd have your arms around me, and nothing else would matter. It would just be us. Stefan and Elena. Elena and Stefan... And I'd be looking at you and you'd be looking at me, and your eyes would be so bright and full of love. All would be right in the world." There was a long pause. "What happened to us, Stefan?"

He got lost in the fire for a long moment. "I guess the world just started spinning too fast and we weren't able to keep up."

She swallowed. "Do you miss it?"

His reply was instant. "Absolutely." Elena's eyes widened at that; she had to admit that there was always a part of her that wondered if Stefan's feelings for her had disappeared when he buried his emotions, but now she knew otherwise. She knew from that look of nostalgia on his face. This time, instead of being the one to talk, Elena waited for him to elaborate. "Most vampires miss being human," he started. "I just miss _you_. I miss telling you how beautiful you are as soon as you wake up, I miss the way your hand fits perfectly in mine, I miss your heart. I lost it when I lost myself."

"You didn't lose it," Elena commented. Their eyes locked for the briefest of seconds after that, the world seeming to freeze. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, everything else was forgotten. It was just Stefan and Elena on the edge of the world, exactly like the perfect times when they were everything to each other. "You want to know what I miss?"

Stefan nodded, making his way over to the couch. She sat beside him. "Hearing you tell me that you love me." That was all she needed to say to make his heart shatter.

His face twisted in anguish, a look that made her move closer to him. "You think I don't love you?" he asked. "That's not even possible, Elena."

She scooted even closer to Stefan, so close that their legs brushed. With a gentle touch, Elena placed her hand inside of his, never keeping her eyes off of his facial expression. A look of relief swept over his face in a mess of emotions, and he instantly squeezed it. He was right; no matter how far apart they had been, no matter how long it had been, it was still a perfect fit. "I want to hear you say it."

His face dropped, turning to a look of sheer panic. "Elena, I cant... It'll make everything so much harder if I do as much as just say it out loud. How can I look you in the eyes and say that when I know that I'll be hurting you more in the end?"

Elena didn't know why she wanted so desperately to hear Stefan say it, but her heart was racing and a part of her needed this, needed confirmation to the fact that through everything, the love of her life still loved her. "Humor me," she whispered. "Just once."

Stefan gazed into her eyes, tainted emerald to dark chocolate. "I...," he began nervously. "I do love you. I know it hurts, but that won't ever change."

Elena couldn't help herself from what she did next; without even thinking about it, her head fell on his chest. She could feel his body tense at the action, though it quickly relaxed and his strong arm wrapped around her shoulders. She gazed into the fire, absently beginning to trace patterns on his chest like she always used to do when they were a couple. In the rarity of this moment, their world finally stopped twirling and spinning, and just paused. Everything was calm. It was simply Elena and Stefan, Stefan and Elena...

No, Elena didn't feel completely distracted from her fears and sorrows, but here, in Stefan's arms, everything just felt _better_.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm still not sure about this story. LOL, I was half asleep when I wrote this :-P I'm not used to writing intense, heavy stuff like this so I hope it's alright! Damon will definitely be in the next chapter, and you'll see some brotherly bonding (along with more Stelena bonding of course :D)<strong>

**Hope you're enjoying this! Review telling me if I should update!**

**Xoxo,**  
><strong>Sara :) <strong>


	6. Chapter 6

_Going around inside my head  
>Trying to talk me out of it<br>So lonely, too lonely…_

* * *

><p>Everything was going to be alright. That's what they told each other.<p>

Until he started seeing things that weren't there.

It all started on Monday morning, when Stefan strolled through the woods in an attempt to find and animal to feed on. He'd been alright lately; aside from a little pain and a little fatigue, he was fine. Maybe the blood was enough, maybe Elena's hope was more than just a word, maybe it had a purpose.

Maybe her hope saved him.

He grinned; he actually _grinned _for the first time in ages. Stefan closed his eyes and could finally imagine a future beyond the next few days.

"Don't get your hopes up," a voice in the distance said. Startled, he turned his head and looked frantically around for the source. The sound was too familiar, too _heartbreaking… _

When he turned his back once again, he saw Lexi's silhouette between the trees. Frozen, she watched him with yellow eyes. "Lexi?" he questioned timidly. Finally, her stony outline came to life.

"Hey, friend," she chuckled, approaching him with poised and graceful steps. "Getting ready to join me?"

He arched a brow in puzzlement. "Join you? You're dead, Lexi… Where am I going to go?"

She smiled, a slow, catlike grin that he did not recognize on his friend. "You're dead too," she chided, her smile turning into a sinister smirk. "Dying. We're all waiting for you."

Stefan's expression dropped and turned to a look of fear, dread and confusion. "No," he muttered. "I'm not…"

There was a long pause, a moment of eerie silence that disturbed the forest. Then, a twig snapped, and the birds started chirping again, and the stream started running… and Lexi smiled again. Except this time, he recognized her. Her eyes weren't glowing anymore. "What are you staring at?" she asked.

He blinked, and then she was gone. Once again, the entire forest was silent, trapping him in its soundless walls of trees and branches and depression… It was suffocating him. Gasping for breath that he didn't need, Stefan looked around desperately. Nothing had moved; the world was frozen. But his insides were turning, twisting, and he needed to escape.

"Help!" he shouted. "Help!"

"Stefan!"

…

He blinked, and he was in Elena's room. Her worried chocolate eyes were burning holes into him and his body was achingly hot. When did that happen? "Elena?" he asked slowly, a look of confusion spreading across his normally calm face. A dull throb was forming behind his head and his mind spun to figure out how he had gotten there.

"Stefan, when did you get here?" she asked. Her soft face was full of just as much confusion as his.

"I don't know," he whispered. "I… I don't know. I was in the woods hunting and then…" He didn't even realize that he was speaking quickly and hurriedly. His heart was racing in his chest, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Shhh," she cautioned, taking note of the wild, feral expression he had. "You're burning up…"

"No, I'm fine. It's just that I was in the woods and I thought I saw Lexi and she was telling me it's time for me to join her only I ended up here and," he babbled, but Elena cut him off by setting him down on her bed. He was covered in a sheet of sweat and was even paler than before. This made her stomach churn in concern. She was so convinced that he was getting better.

"Stefan, I need you to calm down." Her chocolate eyes searched his body, making note of the blood oozing from his wound, staining his shirt. Gently, she sat on the edge of the bed and slid his head into her lap, allowing her fingers to gently run through his hair.

"It's happening," he croaked. "I'm going crazy, aren't I?"

She stared blankly ahead. "You were so healthy for the past few days. It just doesn't make sense…" When the pads of her fingers ran across his forehead, she noticed just how overheated he was. She swallowed thickly. "You have a fever."

"Vampires don't get fevers," he reasoned.

"Vampires with wolf bites do." Elena cringed at the reality of her own words, wondering just how much hope she had left. "You'll… you'll be okay. Maybe it's just a bad day." Her voice shook.

"A bad day? I'm _dying _Elena. We can't ignore it; it's already starting." His tone of voice let her know just how unstable he was feeling mentally; it worried her. "I'm going crazy. When I was talking to Lexi, it felt real, but it wasn't. How long before I go on a killing spree because I've completely lost it?"

"Stop it," she commanded firmly.

Stefan didn't hear her. "How long before I start mumbling about things that no one understands? How can I even tell what's reality and what's not? How can I even tell if this is real!"

"Stefan, _stop!_" Her body began to tremble. Stefan never acted like this, never lost his calm so easily…

"Why would you even be this kind to me? If this was reality, surely you'd tell me to get the hell out and let me just die. It doesn't make sense. Clearly this isn't real."

Elena reached for his hand, her own heart beginning to thump at the hysteria in Stefan's voice.. "It's real."

Once again, her words completely went through him. "Well I guess if I'm off in a daze somewhere this is a hell of a lot better. I mean you're so beautiful, and perfect and more than I deserve… I guess it's better this way anyways and…"

Elena's heart was breaking. "_Snap out of it!" _she shouted, lifting him by the shoulders. She looked at him, but instead of looking into her, his green eyes just looked through her. His bottom lip trembled and she grabbed him and did the only possible thing she could think of.

She kissed him.

It was quick, but filled with passion nevertheless. She pulled away and grabbed his face. Finally, Stefan stopped mumbling and babbling, and just looked at her. Sanity began to fill his eyes once again. "This is real," she said softly. She kissed him again. She could feel him kissing back, just a bit.

Good, she thought. Progress.

"It's only as real as you make it." She trembled when she spoke.

Stefan stopped, just like a child being held after a tantrum. Elena just gazed at him firmly, her eyes burning through his, his shoulders rising and falling with labored breaths. There was a long pause.

Stefan exhaled shakily. "Y-you haven't kissed me in so long…"

Elena let out a breath of relief, and did the only reasonable thing she could think of. She laughed and held his face, unaware of the tears slipping across her face. "Yeah," she whispered, smiling just a bit. "I know."

He brought a finger to his lips in wonder.

"Are you okay?" she asked worriedly, breathing heavy herself now.

"Yeah," Stefan furrowed his brows and looked at her. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me."

A tear slipped down her face and he caught it with his thumb. Elena, simply reveling in his touch for that small second, closed her eyes. "It's the bite. It's getting worse. We can't keep denying it."

Stefan nodded solemnly. "There's a difference between hope and denial."

Elena opened her eyes and smiled. Only seconds ago, she was so afraid he'd lost himself, that everything would just fall and decrease from there, that when she talked he wouldn't hear her. But now, here he was, his eyes full of the same love and wisdom they always held. And she knew that he was alright.

"Yes," she agreed, smiling when he wiped away another tear. "There is."

This time, she was the one who needed comfort; it was funny how the tables turned so quickly sometimes for them. So, Stefan hesitantly leaned in and pressed his lips to Elena's in a gentle kiss.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: There's the chapter! Hope it's alright. I'm just not sure about this story... probably because it's out of my comfort zone, but let me know if I'm doing an okay job still. So sorry it took me so long to update! I got sick over the weekend and needed to rest, but I'm much better now! :) I know I promised Damon this chapter (sorry about that!) but I SWEAR he'll be in the next one!<strong>_

_**Let me know if I should continue! Thank you all! Xoxo**_

_**-Sara  
><strong>_


	7. Chapter 7

_If there's a possibility_  
><em>You turn and run away with me<em>  
><em>I need to...To show you before it fades...<em>

* * *

><p>It was horrific, just how fast everything went downhill from there. Day after day, Stefan would gasp at something that wasn't there, have an episode of complete hysteria, then calm down again. Elena was beginning to come to terms with the fact that Stefan would no longer be a part of her world, and it was breaking her heart. Well, she called it "coming to terms", but in reality she was falling apart. Her definition of coming to terms was realizing that no matter how hard he fought, it was inevitable that his death would come. And that frightened her more than anything.<p>

It was already late into the evening and he was still in his room. She didn't know if he was too weak to get up or if he was just sleeping; she was too scared to go up and check. Luckily, as if on cue, Damon burst through the door.

"How is he?" he asked immediately. Elena frowned and shook her head. Her normally soft features seemed to have sunken from stress and lack of sleep, her brown eyes which were normally swimming with life dulling and draining.

"Not good," she breathed. "He's still upstairs. He's getting delirious, Damon. He's not even there half the time." Her voice shook, causing Damon to run his hand over his forehead. She noticed that even he wasn't attempting to lighten the mood with his usual humor and harmless flirtation; he knew how serious the situation was.

"Just relax here," he coaxed. "I'm going to go talk to him."

Elena ran her hands through her hair and nodded in agreement. She forced a smile and sat down on the couch, watching as Damon made his way up the stairs. Staring into the crackling fire, she willed herself to relax and found herself getting lost in memories when her and Stefan were first in love, and all was right in the world...

Just as she was about to surrender to much needed sleep, her mind started spinning with an idea. Hurriedly, she reached for her cell phone and dialed Bonnie's number.

If anyone could help Stefan stay alive, it'd be Bonnie.

* * *

><p>"Stefan," Damon sighed lightly as he entered, shaking his head. "Always getting yourself into a mess, brother."<p>

A weak chuckle was heard from Stefan. Damon gracefully swung himself to the other side using the bedpost and switched the lamp on. He gasped when he saw his brother's graying face covered in sweat. There were bags under Stefan's half-closed eyes, his skin there turning a light shade of purple. "Guess I'm just prone to trouble," he breathed.

Damon winced at the weakness in Stefan's voice. "How are you feeling?" His gaze pierced through his brother's intensely.

Stefan put on a smile. "Never better," he said sarcastically.

Damon furrowed his brows and slowly sat on the edge of Stefan's bed. "So, Stefan... would you mind enlightening me?" He sat tall and nervously, noticing when Stefan's expression filled with confusion. "Why'd Klaus try to kill you if you saved him?"

Stefan exhaled deeply. It was clear that he was in no mood to talk, but Damon was determined to get answers. "I stole his coffins... to get even," he croaked, voice thick with pain and exhaustion.

Although he didn't understand fully, he decided not to press that topic anymore, and went for the question that had been nagging at him for days upon days: "Why did you save Klaus?"That was the moment that Stefan's gray-green eyes popped open. "Damon," he warned evenly.

"Damn it!" he yelled in response, gripping his brother's frail arm. "I deserve an answer, Stefan! We all know that you're going no where fast so might as well tell me before you bite the dust!" His words were bitter, and Stefan's expression instantly dropped. Damon actually felt remorse after saying that; the flicker of anguish in Stefan's eyes could not be missed.

"To save you," Stefan barely whispered sadly. Damon's face dropped in surprise and he loosened his hold on his arm. "Klaus's hybrids were going to kill you if he died." His voice was gentle but full of sorrow, and Damon's stomach lurched in his chest. "I did it to save you."Without another word, Damon stood up and rushed downstairs, a sudden determination fueling every muscle.

Damon grabbed his coat and rushed for the door. Elena, who had just hung up her cell phone, turned on the couch. "Where are you going?" she demanded. "You shouldn't be leaving..."

He interrupted her, zipping the jacket hurriedly. "We're running out of time. I'm finding Klaus and I'll beat the damn cure out of him if I have to."

Elena's eyes widened and she rushed to her feet. "You can't do that. He'll kill you and you know it!"

A rare surge of pain flickered in his icy blue eyes. "Stefan saved Klaus so that he could save me, Elena. Me." And with those words, he disappeared through the door before she could even protest.

Her hands were shaking in fear. If Damon didn't come back in time, or if he didn't even come back at all...

No, she told herself calmly. He'd come back with the cure. She knew he would come back. She just had to hope that he wasn't empty handed.

Because Stefan's clock was beginning to tick down... and if he died, so would she. The only difference would be that she'd be forced to pretend she was still alive for the sake of everyone around her. Fighting back tears, she ran up to see him.

Elena ran through the hallway. Hurriedly, she opened the door to his room... only it was empty. The sheets were pulled back and he was nowhere to be found. Her heart skipped a beat nervously. She instantly looked around, timidly shouting "Stefan?"

He appeared behind her within a split second, making her jump. Their bodies were so close that she could feel the unnatural heat radiating from him, and had to glance up slightly to meet his hazy eyes. "Katherine?" he questioned confusedly.

She could feel her heart drop. "No, Stefan," she said soothingly, swallowing some of her words to fight back the tears stinging the backs of her eyes. "It's Elena. You know that..."

"Elena..." he repeated distantly, his lips hardly moving. She nodded, slowly and hesitantly. "Elena." This time, his words were more confident, but more of a mumble. Then, his eyes rolled back in his head a bit -an image that would haunt Elena forever- and he collapsed into her.

She was startled by just how light he felt now and slid down the wall. His head fell in her lap and she weaved her fingers through his hair. He was alright for now; she could hear his heavy breathing, but he was just staring blankly ahead. After a long pause, she asked softly, "Are you okay?"

He shook his head, his gaze heavy with self hatred. "I called you Katherine."

"Shhh..." Her fingertips lightly caressed his forehead. "It's okay. I understand." A shudder went through his body, so, in an attempt to comfort him, she lifted his back up just a bit to place a slow kiss on his forehead. He let out a breath and rested his head on her shoulder.

"I'm scared," he confessed when she linked her fingers through his. With the little strength he had, he untangled and re-tangled their connected fingers.

She didn't even realize she had more tears left until they started streaming down her face. With a sniffle, she rested her chin on the top of his head. "You have nothing to be scared for. We're going to get you a cure, okay?"

He didn't seem to really hear her. "I'm scared of not being able to tell you that I love you," he muttered sadly. Elena closed her eyes at those words, trying to stay strong though her insides were burning with despair.

She held onto his hand, afraid that if she let go, he'd be gone. "You'll say it again. And again, and again," she choked out. "You'll be able to."

His body was trembling. He had maybe an hour or two at most, and when he spoke, his voice was quiet and barely audible. "I... I love... you."

Her heart clenched, and she was unable to fight the sob that escaped her lips. "I love you too, Stefan. Fight because of that." And it was true. She loved him so much, despite all that he had done and all that she had seen. She loved him even if she shouldn't. He fought for her, and throughout everything, after regaining his lost humanity, he still loved her. Their love would not die. So why would he?

Very slowly, Stefan lifted his head and kissed Elena's shoulder gently. Her body spread with a saddening warmth at his touch, and she tilted his head up so that their faces were close. "It's not the end," she chided, running a hand through his soft hair. "You'll be okay. It's not the end."

Finally smiling just a bit, she pressed her lips to his. And he kissed her back, despite his lack of energy.

Elena pulled away and just held his face. She used her thumb to caress his skin lightly, enjoying the wordless exchange of their eyes in this silent moment.

He didn't know what he would do without her.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: Okay, I had some writer's block, but I'm finally over it, and I have a good idea for an ending that may surprise you all :) I hope you liked this chapter. I know it was very intense and emotional, and I hope it was good. Let me know how I did. If you liked it, hated it, what you want to see more of, etc.<em>**

**_Every review inspires me to update as soon as I possibly can! So please comment! _**

**_Xoxo!_**

**_-Sara  
><em>**


	8. Chapter 8

_I think I'll be brave_

_Starting with you_

_But I'll fall away if you tell me to..._

* * *

><p>Whether Elena was ready or not, Stefan's death was rapidly approaching, its icy, unforgiving clutches taking precious time away from both of them, piece by desperate piece. Along with every painful second, her heart grew a bit more, preparing to burst, for his condition was getting gradually worse. She willed herself to remember everything about this hour, from the way his hand felt in hers, to the anguished love in his graying eyes.<p>

She didn't want to remember him like this, but she needed to. She wouldn't forget. Couldn't _let_ herself forget.

He'd finally fallen asleep a few minutes ago, though she knew he'd only be out for a little while. In one of his saner moments, he'd told her that he felt like he was being eaten from the inside out. She wanted to make his pain stop, but she knew that if she was faced with such a contingency, she'd never be able to stake her own lover through the heart.

She knew it only hurt so badly because she loved him so much. She could only imagine what people might say to her in the future if she did end up losing him. "_Why even bother with him if he stopped loving you? He wasn't worth your time anyways. You should have let him die with a smile considering the way he left you_," she could practically hear their venomous voices inside of her head. And already, she despised these anonymous faces haunting her thoughts.

No one else would fully understand it; yes, Stefan had turned off his humanity, but he never really stopped loving her. And throughout it all, every horrific thing that he was forced to do, he accomplished for the sake of love and family. As soon as he let everything back in, he came to her because he couldn't stay away, because for the first time in a while he was following his heart instead of his instincts. He paid the price for his actions, and she'd always feel a deep, piercing guilt for the fact that she was the person who ultimately caused this predicament, but she loved him all the more for it. He came back to her, even if it was just to say goodbye. The first thing he remembered upon regaining his lost humanity was that he was completely, without a doubt, eternally hers.

She smiled and cried at the same time as her fingers brushed through his silken hair. She closed her dripping eyes and rested the back of her head against the wall, letting out the shaky breath she didn't realize she was holding.

Elena jumped a bit when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Keeping one hand securely in Stefan's own, she grabbed the cell and read the received text.

_Klaus is just one town over from MF. I know where to find him. The witch is with me to get him weak enough to steal some blood. Be back ASAP. -D_

Elena sighed in relief, feeling that betraying hope course through her veins again. She just prayed that Damon would return, and return in time with a cure. The fact that he had taken Bonnie with him didn't even sink in.

She was scared to get her hopes up at this point, but she couldn't help but feel that everything would be okay. Why wouldn't it? If anyone deserved to live, it was Stefan, her gentle, noble, and damaged vampire lover.

He was supposed to live forever. She was supposed to live forever with him. That was their fate. Not... this.

"D'y'fr'giv me?"

Stefan's mumble surprised her and she instantly raised him by the shoulders so that she could cradle him against her, pressing her lips to his forehead. "What did you say, Stefan?" she whispered softly, making sure that their fingers were still tightly clasped together.

He was having trouble breathing; she could hear and feel his heavy gasps against the skin of her neck. "Do... you... forgive me?" he moaned out. "I fought... fought for you."

Salty, crippling tears poured down her face. Elena was surprised she even had anything left to cry at this point; it seemed to have been all that she was doing for the past week. "Yes," she whimpered. "I forgive you."

A hazy smile appeared on his face. She instantly grinned back as much as she could, running her slender fingertips along the corners of his delicate lips that she had kissed a countless number of times. "I love you," he whispered after a long pause.

Elena was just about to say it back until she figured out what he was doing, the realization making her heart stop beating for a second. "No," she said as sternly as she could, even though her voice was quivering. "You're not saying goodbye."

He shook. Despite his fever, he was chilling, a sure sign that his body was giving out. "I love you," he said again, holding her hand as tight as he possibly could. His dulled green eyes burned into hers with desperation, but he was not compelling her. He was simply willing her to know that.

"I know, Stefan," she breathed, pressing her forehead to his. There was another pause and she gave him the most genuine smile she could muster. "I want you to tell me that when the night's over."

He laughed for the first time in days, actually laughed, and the sound was the most melodic thing Elena had heard in a long time. "I remember saying that to you." His chuckle was cut short by a long, agonizing jolt of pain that surged through his body. He groaned loudly, eyes rolling back at the relentless distress.

She held onto him tightly, waiting for the moment to subside. A moment turned to thirty seconds, to a minute, and he continued to writhe in her hold. "Stefan!" she shouted, terrified. She squeezed his hand tightly and held him firmly against her, afraid that the clock was beginning to tick town in its final crucial moments. "Damn it, Damon! Where are you?" she yelled desperately into a hallway filled with nothingness.

Finally, Stefan stopped groaning and shuddering, his head falling back into her lap. He was still breathing, but every intake and exhale was far too shallow for her liking. "Stefan," she whispered urgently. "Stefan, you're okay. Damon's coming. You'll be okay."

His fingers twitched against her hand that he was still holding. "Everything hurts, Lena." Stefan's voice was barely audible.

Her tears fell onto his face, her own salty ones mixing with his. "I know, Stefan. Just hold on, okay?"

"I'm so sorry," he gasped. Her heart was pounding and she knew it was about to burst; she could feel him slipping away.

"Don't be. Stefan..."

He was so weak, so pale, so pained. But his eyes were wide open and gazing deeply into Elena's chocolate pools of grief. "I love you," he said.

She could feel her crying turn into full out hysteria. "No, Stefan... don't do this. Don't do this!" She squeezed his fingers as tightly as she possibly could; if he were human she probably would have broken bones.

"I'll love you forever... Don't forget," he begged timidly. His voice was so low, but she clung to every word even though her pulse was pounding in her ears.

"I love you," she managed to get out, forcing a smile. Without any hesitance, Elena brought her head down to press her lips to his one final time, but he couldn't kiss back. He was fading and his body was dying, but she could see all of his life in those green eyes.

She could see a little boy, human and innocent, longing for acceptance. She saw a loyal brother, who would always save his older brother if given the chance. She saw her beloved Stefan, who knew and loved her to the ends of the earth despite all odds, who knew that she accepted him. And lastly, she could see a man who hated himself for everything he'd done and tried desperately to find self acceptance. She could see that finally, Stefan had learned to forgive himself.

The moment she pulled her lips away and held his face, he was gone.

Those lively eyes of his gradually dulled. A stare that had previously been replete with love, loyalty, and anguish turned into a blank look into nothingness.

Elena stared at him for a long moment, in complete shock. Her tears stopped and she shook him, pain turning to panic. "Stefan?" she asked although she knew he was gone. "Stefan, please don't leave me." It was then that she realized she had no more tears to cry, only leaving her as a gasping mess who had lost the only thing that ever truly mattered. She couldn't handle it... couldn't believe it.

After everything, he was just... _gone_.

Slowly, feeling as if she forgot how to move, Elena set him down on the floor of the hallway. She laid next to his limp body, staring ahead at nothing. She wouldn't let go of his hand, wouldn't forget the way it felt to hold it. She just rested her head on his unmoving shoulder.

"Hi," she muttered blankly. Her voice was gentle. "Can you hear me?"

There was no response. "Please, Stefan," she begged, now realizing that she did have tears left, for they were brimming her eyes. "Just give me a sign that you can hear me."

Nothing.

Something inside of her snapped. "Come back, Stefan!" she shouted. Now, she was full-out crying, finally knowing that he wasn't anywhere in there. "Come back!"

He was no longer with her. She wasn't lying with Stefan; she was merely beside a shell of the man who loved her more than anyone else ever could. Finding the power, she sat up to stare at her lover's body. "I miss you already," she whispered.

Along with her last ounce of sanity, Elena finally let go of his hand.

She then curled up beside him, gently slid his ring off of his cold finger and grasped it tightly in her fist. Giving in to the consuming pain and grief, she stopped pretending to be strong and cried at his side.

...

That was how Damon and Bonnie found her an hour later.

Elena, curled up at Stefan's side, shaking and sobbing into hysterics. Bonnie's eyes widened at the sight. "Is he...?

Damon swallowed thickly, his blue eyes widening more than they should have. "Yeah," he breathed.

They'd gotten the cure, though it was quite the struggle, involving the death of a few hybrids and Bonnie having to sedate Klaus long enough to get his blood. Damon held the vial filled with the cure tightly in his hands, body freezing up.

Elena finally noticed their presence and sat up as best she could, but her limbs currently felt like spaghetti. It was clear that she would be going into shock at any given moment. "You're too late," she croaked, her voice dry and hoarse from an hour of nonstop sobbing. "He's gone."

Bonnie seemed to be the only one able to think clearly in this moment. Damon seemed to be frozen in place and her best friend had just witnessed the demise of the man she loved.

Although she wanted to break and crumble too, Bonnie decided that it was her duty to stay strong.

Slowly, she pried the vial from Damon's tense hands and slowly knelt by Stefan's side. Elena, although her thoughts were scrambled and incoherent, eyed her best friend through blurred vision. Bonnie felt for a pulse; there was none. She placed the vial on the floor and hung her head, glancing at Damon's stony form.

"Elena, let's get you somewhere comfortable," she reasoned, approaching her best friend hesitantly.

Elena shook her head, no longer crying but staring distantly at Stefan's body. "I can't..."

"Yes, you can," she pleaded and grabbed Elena by the shoulders to lift her wobbly feet to the ground. Elena gasped.

"I can't," she started to cry again. "When I leave, I know I'll never see him again!" Her head fell on Bonnie's shoulder and her best friend softly lead them into the parlor.

Damon was left alone with his brother.

He didn't feel the need to talk or say anything; Stefan wouldn't hear him anyways. He was frozen in place, just staring at the limp body lying in front of him. Finally, when he was able to, Damon walked over to his brother and kneeled next to him.

Stefan's empty green eyes haunted him. Even when they were young kids, Stefan's eyes had always been the one thing that he expressed everything through. When he was lying, Damon knew from the look in his emerald eyes. That's how Damon was sure even when his humanity was shut off, that he was still in there somehow. His face said that he didn't care, but his eyes told a different story.

Damon always noticed these things.

But now, there Stefan was, empty, truly and completely empty, his eyes staring up at nothing. Very hesitantly, Damon moved his hand forward and closed Stefan's eyelids so that now his brother looked peacefully asleep.

He was suddenly shocked when he saw a droplet of water fall onto Stefan's pale cheek. Looking up, he vaguely wondered if he was going insane and there was rain coming from the ceiling. Of course there wasn't.

Damon reluctantly brought a finger to his own cheek, only to feel an unfamiliar wetness on the pad of his forefinger.

A sound that resembled a whimper escaped from Damon's trembling lips. For the first time in 167 years, he felt alone.

"Goodbye, brother," he barely got out before burying his face in his hands.

...

Quickly, Bonnie had gotten Elena on the leather couch, wrapped in a blanket. She sat next to her but didn't dare speak, knowing Elena was looking off into a place only she could see. "Stefan and I sat here a few days ago," she said evenly, her voice still choked up. "I told him it would all be okay. I lied."

Bonnie shook her head. "No, you didn't. You gave him hope, Elena."

Elena trembled. "I love him," she cried, her voice cracking at those words. She was sobbing again, but no tears came. She had nothing left to cry. "I love him so much. Why... why him? He didn't deserve this."

Bonnie nodded, her heart shattering at the sight of Elena in such emotional turmoil. "I know. It's not fair." Even her chest ached at this grievous loss; Stefan had been a wonderful friend to Bonnie too. He helped her when no one else could have.

"I miss him," Elena whimpered. "He took me with him..."

Bonnie frowned deeply at this and knew the truth behind Elena's words. Stefan had always been that missing piece of Elena's life, and when he went, he took that away. "Don't worry," Bonnie confirmed after a minute. "I'll get him back. I'll find a way to bring him back. I promise."

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><p><em><strong>AN: Ah, what a sad chapter! Even I cried while writing this one though! Y'all probably hate me for this chapter, LOL, but I promise it's not the end yet. There's one chapter left *tears* but I think you may be pleasantly surprised with how it ends. Review telling me what you thought of the chapter please! Every comment inspires me to get the next chapter up as soon as I possibly can! Every single comment means the world to me.<strong>_

_**So please review for a quick update! :)  
><strong>_

_**Xoxo,**_

_**Sara **_


	9. Chapter 9

_Mystic Falls Cemetery_  
><em><strong>1 Year Later:<strong>_

Elena gasped when she was brought back into reality, the excruciating memories of Stefan almost being too much to bear, familiar and bitter tears rushing down her cheeks to the green grass above him. She could still vividly remember every dreadful emotion that coursed through her body on the dark night she lost him. She swore to herself that she wouldn't forget anything about that entire day, and she hadn't.

She never forgot about how much she loved him, never stopped loving him.

She remembered once telling him that she wouldn't love a ghost for the rest of her life. But how could she move on after witnessing his death, after hearing him tell her that he loved her before his soul completely diminished?

She went to his funeral, praying it would somehow give her the closure that she needed, that it would prove that their love died along with him.

It never did.

Elena rested her head against his grave, gently running her tanned fingers along his engraved name on the cold stone. "Hi," she whispered softly. "I miss you... every single day, I miss you more. I thought it would get easier, but it hasn't."

The only response she got was the relaxed, always-present rush of water from the stream.

"I'm sorry I haven't visited you," she started sadly. She tried to stop by and visit the sight every day, but no matter how badly she wanted to see him, her feet would lead her in a different direction, her shaky hands turning the car down another street. "I just don't know how to accept the fact that you're not here anymore."

It was odd to her. He lived in her thoughts, so happily, so accurately, but in reality, he was anything but alive. These memories brought her constant solace, but as soon as she realized that that was all they were, memories, she broke down.  
>Bonnie had called her earlier and told her to meet her in the cemetery. Elena argued and said that today of all days was not a good one, but Bonnie claimed it was too important to miss.<br>So, there Elena sat, feeling alone but linked to the man buried beneath her at the same time. One year, it had been exactly one year spent without him. One year without seeing his loving eyes, without hearing his voice.

Stefan's biggest fear had been the fact that he could no longer tell her that he loved her. As soon as he passed away, Elena realized it was hers too.

His melodic, loving words were the one thing that got her through the day when he was alive. Simple phrases like proclaiming his love for her and telling her she looked beautiful always managed to give her a reason to wake up in the morning. But now, what was that reason?

Sometimes, in the back of her head, she could have sworn she heard him speaking to her, telling her everything was going to be okay. When she looked around to find the beholder of this voice, he was never there. Maybe his comforting presence was just a whisper from the wind.

Maybe it was simply the deceiving memories mixing with her inner thoughts, taunting her, toying with her.

But it wasn't him; nothing could even come close to the feel of his breath in her ear and his sweet nothings drifting through the air until they reached her.  
>"Hey." Elena jumped at the sound of Bonnie's low voice, quickly turning her head. "Having a moment with him?" she asked softly.<p>

She shook her head and wiped away the fresh tears on her cheek. "A moment with who?" She sniffled. "I've been the only one here, Bonnie."

Bonnie smiled, though the look in her eyes was sad and troubled. "You know what I meant," she said with a shake of the head. Slowly, she took a seat next to Elena.

Pulling her knees up to her chest, Elena glanced at her friend briefly then turned her attention back to Stefan's name finely written on the cold stone. "Why did you tell me to come?" she asked eventually.

Bonnie just sighed. "Give me your hand."

Elena arched a brow in confusion. Feeling too weak to even ask why, she placed her hand in Bonnie's hesitantly. The second she did this, a sharp but painless jolt hit her in the heart, making her gasp. "Bonnie, what are you doing?"

The young witch closed her eyes. "Shh... I'm channeling you. Concentrate, Elena."

"On what?"

"Stefan." Bonnie furrowed her brows, eyelids still tightly shut. "I need you to think about him, get a picture of him in your mind."

At the mention of his name, Elena harshly pulled her hand away. Was this some kind of joke. "What the hell are you doing?" she demanded bitterly. She never took anything related to him lightly, and if Bonnie was planning on doing something silly like making Elena remember the good times she spent with him, she wasn't going to have it.

Bonnie bit her lip, avoiding Elena's eyes. "I don't want to get your hopes up."

A sudden chill whooshed through the air, making them both shiver. Elena leaned against Stefan's grave, ever so gently tracing her fingers along the grassy barrier between her and her love. "You're right. Don't tell me." The last thing she wanted was hope. After loosing Stefan, Elena realized that hope wasn't tangible or useful. It only made things hurt more. She was raised to believe that hope could make miracles happen; it was all a lie.

"It's been a year," Bonnie confirmed. "Exactly one year."

Elena repeated sadly, "Exactly a year."

Bonnie nodded. "Give me your hands again. Think about Stefan." Very slowly, Elena placed her hand back in her friend's and closed her eyes. She visualized Stefan in one of his gentler moments, smiling down at her with that loving grin of his. His eyes, always swimmingly green with adoration and devotion were glimmering with life. She imagined the way his face felt under her fingertips, how soft his lips were...

Suddenly, she could feel cool, refreshing rain hitting her skin and soaking her clothes. The winter air which had previously been crisp and unpleasant grew warmer, the cold rain feeling oddly... comforting.

Elena and Bonnie both opened their eyes. They looked up at the sky and realized that it was completely enveloped by a purple cloud, except for a little strip of sunlight cracking through, shining on a spot in the distance.

Bonnie smiled widely, squeezing Elena's hand. "It's working," she whispered. For the first time in a whole year, Elena could feel that familiar rush of hope course through her veins. So caught up in the moment, she asked without hesitance, "What's working?"

Bonnie smiled slightly, though that look of concentration was still present on her face. "After Stefan died, I did some research in grams's old books. You see, some spirits are still here even after death. They watch, but they can't interact with us."

Elena's heart skipped a beat. "You... you think that Stefan's still here?" Could it be that those whispers she sometimes heard in the midst of her loneliness truly weren't spurs of insanity?Bonnie nodded. "We're about to find out." She continued to explain, "A year after death, it is believed by the druids that a spirit is most earthbound."

"That's ridiculous," Elena scoffed, not wanting to believe it. But when she looked back at her friend, she was already chanting in Latin, eyes closed, mouth hardly moving in pensive concentration.

She tried to imagine Stefan again, but Elena suddenly felt overwhelmed by the purple clouds swirling above them. The rain pelted harder and harder until the rest of the cemetery couldn't even be seen. Bonnie's chants got louder.

Elena couldn't even see Bonnie anymore; the rain was suffocating. She was beginning to wonder if she'd gone blind altogether, until lightning stuck in the distance, blue light filling the afternoon. Then, it stopped.

Bonnie stopped speaking in Latin, and the rain died down to a drizzle. Elena, breathless and with a racing heart, looked to her friend in silent shock.

But Bonnie was not looking at her; her eyes were transfixed on something in the distance. Confusedly, Elena followed her gaze until she realized what exactly Bonnie was staring at.

A few hundred yards away, right where the sunlight was streaming through, she could see the silhouette of a man.

* * *

><p>Blackness.<p>

That's all that he was surrounded by. Tumbling, spinning, never ending blackness. And it was suffocating him.

He couldn't feel anything, simply knowing this confusing darkness that weighed him down was important. Was there something he was supposed to remember?

But then, he started to feel something other than that odd sensation of nothingness. He felt something under him. What was it? He used his every ounce of mental power to make his fingers twitch. There was something wet beneath him, something that smelled fresh, like a cloud, but harder.

He laid there for another long moment until his eyes slowly drifted open. He blinked, his vision blurred and hazy until it cleared up. He was looking up at a purple sky, his back pressed up against green, dewy strands coming from the ground.

Grass, his mind whispered to him. Yes, that was the right word. A look of wonder spreading across his ageless face, he sat up and ran his fingers through the long green grass. He smiled; something inside of him told him that he hadn't been here in a long time.

Then, he heard something in the distance. A shout. Someone else was there, and her beautiful voice was yelling to him. "Stefan!" she was saying.

Was that his name? Stefan? It sounded quite fitting.

And then she yelled it again, the simple sound of her voice making his chest ache. Did he know this woman calling to him from the distance?

Elena, that nagging voice in his head told him.

Stefan nodded slowly. The faceless woman screaming to him was definitely named Elena. He was confused. He did not understand why her voice was enough to send his body soaring and his heart racing. He concentrated on her shouts until an image came to mind.

He saw a woman with olive skin and forgiving chocolate eyes. Her hair was straight and dark, flowing past her shoulders into a soft sea of cocoa. She was beautiful, and she was his. He loved her.

He died in her arms.

His eyes widened in shock as the memories returned to him. Klaus, the bite, Damon, Elena... it all came back to him. It all hit him in a rush of emotions. Every kiss, every smile, every fight and every break up. He loved her unconditionally, with everything he had, just as she loved him with all of herself. He hated himself because he left her, for all that he had done to hurt her in the past.

But he was supposed to be dead.

Confused but fueled with a sudden determination, Stefan attempted to stand and make his way over to her. His legs were wobbly and he fell every few feet, but he could finally see Elena now and she was running to meet him halfway. He smiled, a golden, bright smile because she was tripping too.

They were only a few feet away now and for the first time in 365 days, their eyes locked.

Elena's world stopped. He was looking at her and she was looking at him, chocolate brown eyes to shining hazel. She never thought she'd be able to do this again and as soon as she saw that grin on his face, she collapsed into his arms in a mess of emotions. On instinct, he held her against him wordlessly.

She wondrously ran her hands along his back, reveling in the feel of his secure arms around her, holding her tight. "Don't let this be a dream," she begged desperately into his bare chest, inhaling his sweet scent. He smelled like home, like springtime, like love. Everything about him was purely Stefan. "Please don't let this be a dream." She was confused and had a thousand questions, but they could all wait. Besides, Bonnie had already silently slipped away, allowing the two lovers to properly reunite. Elena would be thanking her best friend for the rest of her life for this.

The rain was still drizzling around them, soaking her clothes and making his hair stick to his forehead, but they didn't notice. His chin rested on the top of her head and he buried his face in her soft hair, quiet sobs escaping from his lips. "You feel so real," he breathed. "I love you, I love you..."

She cried even harder at his words, her warm tears falling onto his smooth chest. She could hear Stefan's heartbeat beneath his skin; this was reality, without a doubt. It had to be. Those three words were enough to prove that she wasn't in a dream. The relief and love and desperation in his voice could never be replicated in a dream; that incredible sound was purely him.

"God, I love you," she barely got out. Her hands clawed up his chest so that she was holding his face, simply gazing at him, taking in every single feature. Stefan looked so healthy and happy and supernaturally beautiful... so beautifully in love. "I missed you."

Elena closed her eyes as Stefan brushed her soaking hair away from her face. He smiled through his endless crying and kissed her, eagerly and carelessly. She instantly responded to his kiss with just as much fervor and passion, her body and mind not wanting to miss out on a moment of this. His lips were soft, his tongue was sweet, and his heart was pure. Nothing could get better than this. Barely even having the power to, Stefan pulled away, just an inch or two. "You were gone too long," she panted against his lips. Slowly, she removed her hands from his face to look down at her fourth finger on her left hand. Sitting there, just as it had every day for the past year, was his lapis ring. Taking in a much needed breath, she slid it off of her finger and placed it on his own. As soon as she did this, she grabbed his face once again. He was gazing at her as if he was seeing her for the first time, with so much adoration. "Don't ever leave me again," she begged through the tears.

"Never," he promised confidently before allowing their mouths to collide once again. "Never again."  
>And so, they kissed and kissed in the pouring rain until their lips were swollen and their tears had run out. Then, they kissed some more until her back was bare and pressed against the grass and he was hovering above her, afternoon fading to night.<p>

It was true; Stefan died, but their love never had. He was alive again, somehow. They were together again. That was all that mattered.

Elena realized that hope really had been important after all. A year without him had been so difficult; she'd pretended to be brave even though she was suffering inside.

Now they could face life's challenges as one. They weren't alone, and never would be again. They could be brave together.

_**The End**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Ahhh, so it's over! :( I hope I cheered you all up with this ending, because let's face it, it's obvious I wouldn't just let Stefan die :) I love him way too much for that! I'm so sad that this fanfic is coming to an end, but who knows, maybe in the near future I'll write a sequel. Let me know if you want me to write that or not!<strong>_

_**Please write me one last review for this story! I'd love to know what you thought about it. If you hated it, loved it; every comment makes my day. Thank you for reading this and favoriting, etc. It means the world to me. **_

_**Please comment! Xoxo,**_

_**Sara :)**_


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